All in a Week: Debunking the Myths of Unsocialized Homeschoolers

It is touted as a detriment of homeschooling.  This adage of lack of socialization surfaces often, and if it isn't vocalized by those whom you encounter, it might be reflected upon silently.  But, is it valid?  When I jostled with the idea of homeschooling, I will admit that one of the deterrents for me was that I didn't want our children to miss the school "experience..." the interaction with their peers, the classroom parties for holidays, the field trips, the exposure to so many neat resources.  Then, I began to reflect on my endless hours in an elementary classroom as a teacher.  Was the "socialization" that transpired always positive?  As much as I strived to create community in my classroom, the little people are microcosms of, dare I say, a fairly dysfunctional society where love is definitely not prevailing.  Sometimes, I was baffled as a classroom teacher in regard to how kiddos treated one another or how the little people could be so judgmental and degrading.  Each year that I taught in the classroom, I did an activity with my students that involved a trial-sized tube of toothpaste, a drawing of a cartoon school-aged child, a piece of masking tape, and a tongue depressor....four simple items that typically left a classroom of kiddos speechless after the activity was completed.  One volunteer got to squeeze ALL of the toothpaste out of the tube that had masking tape around it labeled "yucky words."  The toothpaste got squeezed out over the cartoon character and smeared all around the picture.  The children would giggle because when else were they ENCOURAGED to squeeze the contents of an entire tube of toothpaste out?!?  This would have surely landed them in time-out at home.  Unbeknownst to most of the children though, as this toothpaste was squeezed out and smeared, the volunteer was demonstrating how the "yucky words" that people say truly stick.  Then, another volunteer was selected and asked to put the toothpaste all back in the tube.  In a sense, the person was tasked with taking back all of the hurtful words.  Cramming toothpaste back into a tube is not really a feasible task.  Correcting the damage done to one's self-esteem by hurtful words is not an easy feat either.  "The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever is understanding is even-tempered" (Proverbs 17:27).  I can say, from experience, that this is not always practiced by children in the classroom.

Encyclopedia Britannica defines socialization as "the process whereby an individual learns to adjust to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by the group (or society).  According to most social scientists, socialization essentially represents the whole process of learning throughout the life course and is a central influence on the behavior, beliefs, and actions of adults as well as children."

Miram-Webster Medical Dictionary defines socialization as "the process by which a human being beginning at infancy acquires the habits, beliefs, and accumulated knowledge of society through education and training for adult status."

In which case, after reflecting upon these denotations, my level of concern skyrockets.  Socialization is not necessarily positive.  In fact, socialization can not only be detrimental to an individual but, ultimately, to a society.  Having our children conform to societal standards and acquire societal beliefs is not the goal when a society exudes wrong.  Worldly perceptions are far from biblical truths.  

Let me reiterate that I am not opposed to public education.  I have worked alongside some phenomenal educators passionate about their work and the children that they interact with.  I am, however, deeply concerned about societal trends that are imbedded in children LONG before they even enter the classroom and that can harmfully alter the perceptions of individuals that they share the classroom with. There is MUCH truth to "[starting] children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).  The Biblical story of the wise and foolish builders rings loud and clear, too.  "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.  But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash" (Matthew 7:24-29).

Our desire is to start our children off with a strong foundation in the hopes that they can be lights in the classroom when they are older.  Will our children still make mistakes?  ABSOLUTELY!  Will they still fall short of HIS glory?  WITHOUT A DOUBT!  Will our children see their teacher/momma make mistakes?  DAILY!  However, through it all, we can hopefully guide our children in positive socialization.  Through this homeschooling journey, our children are DEFINITELY being provided with opportunities to socialize with others, form relationships with others, and learn that people they interact with aren't always loving.  We are not homeschooling to shelter our children from the realities of the world.  We ARE homeschooling to build a strong foundation so that they can delineate right from wrong.

Our schedule is frazzled but not chaotic.  We are committed to activities but striving to not become overcommitted.  And, in each of theses activities that our children are involved in, they are blessed to interact not only with children of their ages but, also, with adults.  Here is what a week looks like at Household Schmidt:

Sunday:  
Each of our children interacts with children at their age level when they attend Sunday School.  Then, they get to interact with adults during the church service.

Monday:
Brynn attends ballet and tap dance!  This is something that brings her GREAT joy.  The other kiddos are in tow with Momma interacting with siblings of Brynn's dance classmates while we wait for Brynn's dance class to finish.  

Tuesday:

Every other Tuesday, we attend MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers).  When I am meeting with other moms, the girls are each in their own class interacting with children of their own age and learning a bible story.  On the Tuesdays when MOPS doesn't meet, we are often meeting with other MOPS' mommas for play dates.  Once again, this gives the girls an opportunity to interact with other children.

Tuesday evenings, we meet with a "Faith Family" at another home. The adults have bible study while fifteen kids of all different ages play together while being watched by some brave babysitters!  The kiddos and the babysitters have always managed to survive and thrive thus far. 

Wednesday:

The girls and I attend story time at the library in the morning and select a plethora of books to read for the week.  

And, this week, the girls have started a month-long soccer clinic at the local recreational center.

Here is Elle learning the art of patience as her sisters learn the art of soccer.

Clare, our Southwestern diva, did NOT want to wear sweatpants OR tennis shoes, but once she got to soccer, she decided the crazy-mommy-dictated attire was all worth it.

Here's Brynn learning how to kick the ball.

Brynn was all smiles, and I was happy to see that she was enjoying trying something new.  She tends to  err on the side of seeking perfection (sigh...like her momma....sigh...), so it is often difficult for her to attempt something that she isn't able to excel at immediately.  (Have I mentioned that, oftentimes as a parent, it is difficult to see your faults glare right back at you through your children.  It is definitely eye-opening.  I so do not want Brynn to be plagued with the desire to attain a level of perfection because it is neither healthy nor realistic.)

One giant kick for Clare.

Could they be anymore different?  They even lead their kicks off with different feet.

Elle so yearns to join in. Here she glances back at me as if to say, "Momma, there's a ball.  It's not being used.  Can I please join?"

So happy and proud to just hold one of the balls. (And looking mighty grown-up these days, too, I might add.)

So, as you can tell, we do not keep our children in a bubble.  We have them out and about exploring the world and interacting with people often.  They are getting socialized.  It might not be in the manner that our society deems "correct" or "normal."  Our culture has definitely lapsed into some fairly dysfunctional norms when it comes to what is socially acceptable.  Growth could definitely occur if we return to some of our moral roots, and that growth begins with helping children develop a strong foundation.  Even Albert Einstein said, 

And, so, the homeschooling journey continues at Household Schmidt....one....step....at....a....time.  At the end of the day, we do not question where our children are at on the spectrum of socialization, but, rather, we ask ourselves, "Have we pointed them toward you, Lord?"